Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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