you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i've created a new STD.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize