After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize