I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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