I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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