Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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