If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
