My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
