OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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