physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
