ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
