I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad