You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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