new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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