Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
