i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
