You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
