I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
