Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
