I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he fucked my hip out of place.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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