I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
