i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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