God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
