He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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