Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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