It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
