Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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