she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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