I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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