Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.