he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.