Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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