he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
