it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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