the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
