WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize