There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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