Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
