i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
