honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
