I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
