Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
