Are my feet made of real feet?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
