oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
