Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My ATM looks so different sober.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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