You just made me feel so damn special
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
this will be a night to untag.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
