Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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