Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
