Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
