forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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