Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
