Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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