i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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